While there have been many mystical figures and supernatural phenomena throughout history, I decided to invent a character: Frank O'Reilly, a 44-year-old wizard who lives with his family in the suburbs. There's really not much to him, and he wants to make that clear. Just like how all heroes don't wear capes, not all wizards wear flashy outfits. Some like to wear khakis and plaid shirts. I hope that you find his story uninspiring yet amusing. 

Complete text:

My name's Frank O'Reilly, and I'm a wizard. 
Each morning, I load my sons into our minivan, drop them off at school and head to my office in the city.

Most people don't understand us wizards. And it's no one's fault except the fairy tale industry. We don't all dress in cloaks and pointed hats, or live deep in the woods and grow ridiculously long beards. Even though most of us live to be a couple centuries old, we never look it.

I mostly wear button-up shirts and khakis. If I'm feeling especially fashion-forward, I'll wear socks with animals on them. I don't have a long beard; in fact, I shave every other day. I don't live in the woods. I live in Naperville. And, as for my age, let's just say all government documents say that I am 44.

While I spend most of my time summoning spirits and composing incantations at my office, I indeed have hobbies. 
I like to go hunting with guys from the office. To keep it fair, we don't use our powers.
Also, I like building things. My wife and I always have a DIY project in the works.
And recently, I have been taking Spanish classes in the evenings.

Y ahora, voy a mostrarles un poco de magia.

The cosmos are telling me my kid's got a soccer game, and I must go.